This is the third time I have started writing this post. It just won't do what I want it to do. Kind of like my hair, but that's a battle I will probably never win. This post....it will get written.
Because I am a perfectionist I am rarely ever satisfied. I manage to be content for awhile then decide it's time for a change, time to upgrade, time to do things different. Due to my perfectionist nature, I am constantly running myself ragged trying to live up to my impossibly high standards in which I manage to do everything perfectly in every single facet of my life. Part of me blames society and the notion that "having it all" is what we should strive for. Society (and the Internet) tells me I can have the perfect home, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect husband, a perfect family, and a life full of travel and adventure, paid for, of course, by my perfect job.
This does not help me to sleep better at night. In fact, striving for all this perfection is what causes me to pass out from exhaustion on the couch every night. Having it all and trying to BE it all can sometimes make a person feel less than whole. For me, I just feel like I am always trying to play catch-up, always trying to add one more thing to the never-ending to-do list.
It's silly, I know, but sometimes I feel pressure (mainly from myself) to take on all these role simultaneously and become a rock star at each and every one of them. For instance, my OCD tendencies mean I am constantly cleaning house. On my lunch break I am doing dishes, when I get home from work I am sorting mail and putting away laundry, on the weekends I am scrubbing floors and dusting furniture. I have always placed a high importance on exercising, so I'm on the treadmill every morning at 5:30 a.m., and yet some days instead of feeling good about myself for running three miles, I'm feeling kind of lousy that I didn't do at least five. If I don't have a menu planned and food bought for the week I feel scattered, like I failed a test. If I can't get through my to-do list at work by the end of the day I feel frustrated. And with my writing.....well, let's just say that one is too big to get into in just a measly paragraph.
I stretch myself too thin a lot of the time. I try to cram in too much, try to get too many things done as quickly as possible. While at times this method works to my advantage, it usually leaves me feeling exhausted and sometimes frustrated. When you take on a number of different roles sometimes there isn't enough room in one day for everything. Something inevitably gets left out. And once you make a habit of leaving things out, it gets easier to do it time and time again.
The truth is, I'm not perfect and I never will be. I will never be able to do everything in my life to perfection, but every now and then I can definitely hit one out of the park. I also need to rid myself of the mindset that life will truly begin once everything is "just right," because life is most definitely underway, and I'm right in the thick of things. I feel like I need to work on adjusting my daily focus. Maybe not try to take on everything each and every day, but take on one or two things then save the rest for later. Maybe it's worth having a slightly messy house if it means I can devote an hour or two of my evenings to writing, or scrap booking, or finally finishing a book I've been working on for over a month.
I don't think I'll ever rid myself of the perfection mindset. But I need to start allowing myself to focus that mindset in more specific terms. I think this trait will definitely help me to succeed in various areas of my life, but only if I take on a little bit at a time instead of all at once. I also need to stop feeling bad about all the things I feel like I should be doing, and instead embrace the ones I am doing, and more importantly WANT to be doing.
There may not be enough hours in the day for everything, but as long as I can find enough time in my life for all the important things, I guess that's what really matters.
I stretch myself too thin a lot of the time. I try to cram in too much, try to get too many things done as quickly as possible. While at times this method works to my advantage, it usually leaves me feeling exhausted and sometimes frustrated. When you take on a number of different roles sometimes there isn't enough room in one day for everything. Something inevitably gets left out. And once you make a habit of leaving things out, it gets easier to do it time and time again.
The truth is, I'm not perfect and I never will be. I will never be able to do everything in my life to perfection, but every now and then I can definitely hit one out of the park. I also need to rid myself of the mindset that life will truly begin once everything is "just right," because life is most definitely underway, and I'm right in the thick of things. I feel like I need to work on adjusting my daily focus. Maybe not try to take on everything each and every day, but take on one or two things then save the rest for later. Maybe it's worth having a slightly messy house if it means I can devote an hour or two of my evenings to writing, or scrap booking, or finally finishing a book I've been working on for over a month.
I don't think I'll ever rid myself of the perfection mindset. But I need to start allowing myself to focus that mindset in more specific terms. I think this trait will definitely help me to succeed in various areas of my life, but only if I take on a little bit at a time instead of all at once. I also need to stop feeling bad about all the things I feel like I should be doing, and instead embrace the ones I am doing, and more importantly WANT to be doing.
There may not be enough hours in the day for everything, but as long as I can find enough time in my life for all the important things, I guess that's what really matters.
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