How do you stay motivated?

For me, the absolute most worst feeling in the world is not feeling motivated.  I love when I get an idea in my head, am all fired up to make it happen, and actually do just that.  It's so satisfying, even if it's something as simple as changing a lightbulb.  So, what is a person to do when they are lacking in motivation?

I know we've all been there.  Work is slow, you're dead tired, your routine is dreadfully dull and predictable.  All of these things can completely zap one's motivation to accomplish even the most simple of tasks.  When you're in a rut, no matter what kind of rut it may be, it can be really hard to pull yourself out.  You sit there thinking of ways to spring yourself into action but nothing seems to do the trick. 

When I'm having a slow day at work and I feel like I will literally die of boredom sitting at my desk, I use my lunch break as a chance to escape and do a quick workout.  Exercise is a God send, because once I get in the weight room I instantly feel energized, motivated, and just ready to do things.  Some of my best ideas come when I'm working out, which is another reason why it puts me in such a good mood.  My only dilemma is trying to figure out how to make that feeling last after I leave the gym. 

We all get bored or frustrated with our lives sometimes.  It's just a fact of life.  No matter how happy you are, no matter how content, there will come a point or a period where you just want things to be completely different.  For me, these feeling usually pass, or at least the intensity does, but at at times I find that I yearn to change little aspects of my life, or at least switch up my routine.  Most of the time I am one of those people who thrives on routine.  I like knowing that first thing in the morning I will feed my puppies, pour a cup of coffee, and sit on my couch reading before I go to work.  I think for most people who are like this, there's a sense of comfort in knowing you can rely on certain, unchangeable elements almost every day.  We can't control everyting in our lives, but I know I can depend on that cup of coffee in the morning, and that does wonders for me.

But I digress.  What I'm realy trying to drive at is how important motivation is in our lives, or at least in mine.  When I'm not feeling motivated, I'm not feeling like myself, which consequently makes me unhappy.  This all comes back to the idea of growing bored with your routine and trying to add new elements.  For instance, I decided that I was going to make a point to spend at least an hour a day down in my office working on my writing in some way shape or form.  During the month of November I stuck to this goal and before I let myself drift off to sleep in front of the TV, I went down the stairs, turned on my computer, and typed away on my various projects.  I discovered one night that I was really enjoying this routine, and that in fact once I actually sat down at my computer to write I instantly felt more energized, and my mind would literally spin with ideas.

But, then Thanksgiving rolled around, I went home for a few days, and the routine was broken.  And with the broken routine came my broken motivation.  It's amazing how quickly it disappears, and how it doesn't take much to deter it.  I plan on picking up the routine again, maybe it will be one of my New Year's resolutions.  So here's the question:  does the motivation come first, or do you force yourself to do something the first time and are then motivated to keep doing it?  Personally, I think it's a little bit of both depending on the situation.  For me I usually have to force myself to do something, and then I keep doing it to keep up the motivation.

Motivation to act is such a fleeting thing.  When you have it, things are great, but when you don't have it, so many negative feelings take its place that it's downright depressing.  I'm going to continue to challenge myself in the area of motivation; to try new things and adopt new habits and actually stick to them.  Here's hoping the motivation follows my actions.  

What's in a name?

Shakespeare said it best. "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
It's really very interesting, this notion of a name. We attach everything about ourselves to it, and thus it becomes who we are. Names can also carry around a great deal of history, which have a way of defining you in terms of the people who came before you. Have you ever ran into a person you haven't seen in a long time, and you start associating them with all those old memories you have, only to find out that they got married and have a new last name? Something changes a little, doesn't it? Suddenly you feel like you've just met someone for the first time and really don't know anything at all about the person standing in front of you.
I have spent some time thinking about names lately, mainly because I just got married and, you guessed it, my last name officially changed. Months before the wedding I was really having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I would no longer be a Plucker. It was somewhat of a surreal feeling, because not a single thing about my personality was changing, but it felt like I was going to become an entirely different person. I'm not really sure what I was expecting....a total metamorphosis or just a subtle change of being, but I couldn't help feeling I was losing a piece of my identity.

I had spent 25 years becoming Carrie Plucker. In the eyes of my family, my friends, and me, this was who I was and essentially would always be. I was possessive of that name, I was familiar with that name, and I knew who I was with that name. For me, it wasn't just the notion that other people wouldn't know who I was, I was almost afraid that I wouldn't know myself.

After being married now for four months and practicing my new signature over and over so that it now feels like second nature, I think I have embraced my new name of Carrie Neppel. But that doesn't mean I have given up or lost any of the characteristics which made me Carrie Plucker. Sometimes when I smile really big my left eye will close itself just a bit farther than my right, something discernible in both my father and my grandfather. I am still stubborn, which is true of just about every member of the Plucker family, and I still possess the Plucker nose. I have a sneaking suspicion my bunions might grow back, a gift bestowed on me by my father, aunt and great-aunt.

We start out as a person with a name. A name given to us by other people but which links us to a shared history, a shared past, of people and family whom we look at in black and white pictures and try to imagine as real as we are. Upon that name evolves a plethora of characteristics unique to ourselves, so that while we may look like those who came before us we become another branch, a new extension. We become our own person. In the end it's like Shakespeare said about the proverbial rose, and by another name we will still maintain everything we have always been. These days I may sign my name differently, but a new configuration of letters hasn't taken anything away from me.

To Should or Not to Should

I am not a big fan of the word "should."  I feel that when I use this word in a sentence it is more often than not casting a negative light upon my character.  For example, here's one just off the top of my head:

"I really should stop eating desserts." 

Hmmm....well, immediately I am drawn to the conclusion that, obviously, I enjoy eating desserts and do so on a somewhat regular basis.  However, appartently I need to stop doing this thing which I obviously enjoy (why else would I do it?) because of some probably very good reasons created by people who like to tell me what is and isn't good for me.  The minute I read/speak this sentence about myself there is also a feeling that creeps into my psyche and takes hold of my state of mind.  That feeling is guilt.  Obviously, if I should stop eating desserts it means that what I'm doing is wrong, and don't we all feel guilty when we do things we know are wrong?

Here's my point: too many "shoulds" are not good for a person.  In fact I believe they can be quite detrimental to one's self-esteem.  I don't think there is anything wrong with setting goals or trying to improve upon yourself, that is part of human nature.  But I feel like sometimes we get into a continuous cycle of telling ourselves we need to start or stop doing so many things, and it just becomes too overwhelming. 

There are so many instances where I find myself thinking, "I should want to do this....," or "I should like that...."  But really, there is no substantial reason why.  Maybe I think I should want to always be going to social events because I work in event planning, or maybe I think I should want to move across the country because I have lived in Eastern Washington my entire life.  I don't necessarily not want these things, but I don't think there's any good reason why I should want them, or better yet, feel guilty for not wanting them. 

Case in point, I think we all should strive to be happy and satisfied with ourselves, our lives, and our choices, despite the protests from others and at times even from ourselves.  If that means a few extra desserts, then so be it.

And so it begins....

I read recently that blogging is considered pure vanity. The idea all writers have that our words are so important they need, nay, should be shared with a mass audience is in itself born from vain conotations.

It is for this reason alone I have fought so long the urge to blog. Let's be serious, how many people out there would possibly be interested or compelled to read my dwellings on the endless minutia of everyday life? Not to mention the fact that deep inside I have truly been fighting the fear that every writer loathes to the extreme, and this is the fear that once I actually sit down to write something I will discover I have absolutely nothing to say. Some people are scared of spiders, others of snakes, I fear the blank page (and bees, but that's a subject for another time). So finally I decided I would just put myself to the test and find out exactly what was swimming around in my mind that could be captured on paper, or in this case a computer screen. In this way I made the decision to join the blogging world, for better or worse.

I am approaching this as a sort of writing exercise, because I do not entertain any delusions of grandeur that many people besides my immediate family will bother to read these postings. After all, over and over again I have been told that the best way to actually create substantial writing is to write every single day, something I have always struggled with. Perhaps this is a way to ignite my creative spark, or perhaps it will simply turn into another mindless way to amuse myself for 20 minutes a day. Only time will tell.

And as far as the vanity thing goes, I believe that every writer and aspiring writer has to have at least a little bit of vanity when it comes to their work. Otherwise we would all give up.