Obligations of a relationship

It's a fact of life that sometimes we just have to do things we don't necessarily want to do.  Somewhere along these same lines is the notion that sometimes we feel forced to do things out of obligation.  This creates an interesting paradox in relationships, as I am starting to find out through the joys of married life.

When you're in a relationship, does any obligation on behalf of your spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend automatically transfer over to you?

Right off the bat I am going to assume that for most women the answer is yes.  Women, I feel, are more inclined to want the couple aspect in most situations.  Let's face it ladies, we don't even like to go to the bathroom by ourselves.  

As a woman, I know that I am usually in the mindset that if I feel the need/obligation to attend a certain social function, I automatically expect my husband to attend with me.  In my mind that's just the way it goes.  That being said, I also expect this formula to work if the situation is reversed.  If my husband felt he had to attend something, I would go with him without putting up too much of a fight.

Is this way of thinking correct?  Is there a correct way to think about this?

I feel that being part of a couple is being able to balance the give and take.  You give something now, you get something back later.  I learned this as a little kid and while it has not always been an adage I particularly appreciate, it does make sense.  This is also just a part of growing up.  You don't always get what you want when you want it.  Instant gratification is a fleeting aspect of childhood that some people are reluctant to give up. 

I think another important aspect of this pondering is realizing what is important to your partner.  Anyone in a serious relationship should be familiar with the notion that sometimes you need to do things that make your partner happy.  Whether it's folding the laundry, going to a movie, or attending a work function, you do these things not because you want to, but because it will please someone else.  This in turn is supposed to bring happiness to you....kind of a cause and effect thing. 

I'm not saying that we should be slaves to our spouses and do every single little thing they ask of us.  I also don't think we should have to give up the independent aspects of our lives simply because we are in a relationship.  But I do think, at times, we need to accept the obligations of our relationships.  Which means that one will get dragged to the weddings of their spouses friends, to class reunions, and to sometimes ackward family functions with the other person's relatives.  When you commit yourself to another person, you commit yourselves to these things, too. 

There is a relationship learning curve when it comes to things like this, and even with continued practice it isn't always an easy concept to grasp.  I think the key is to keep practicing, to keep giving and taking, and to keep striving for mutual happiness. 

Just make sure you're not practicing by yourself.