Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Would you be friends with Jessica Fletcher?


If you happened to be watching TV at anytime between 1984 and 1996, you more than likely stumbled upon an absolutely delightful show called "Murder, She Wrote."  In the show, a small town widow turned bestselling mystery writer, Jessica Fletcher, helps out local law enforcement from around the globe by solving some of the most baffling of murder crimes.  She also pumps out a few books along the way.   

Jessica Fletcher is like your grandma.  Only much, much cooler.  She writes, she travels, she cooks, and she constantly proves she is smarter than most of the police officers in America by solving crimes that these so-called cops and detectives have been professionally trained to do.  Pretty bad ass, am I right?

 And still the question remains: who in their right mind would befriend this woman?  Because no matter how many different ways you look at it, the fact remains that when Jessica Fletcher is around people seem to have a much higher possibility of not just dying, but being murdered.  But maybe we shouldn't hold this against her.  Below, I have compiled a Pros and Cons list to consider before signing on to be BFF's with Mrs. Fletcher. 

Pro: A reliable exercise buddy.  Most noticable in the first season of the show, Jessica is constantly being shown on camera in exercise attire.  She runs, rides her bike all over Cabot Cove, and spends a lot of time sweating away the pounds out in her garden.  If you've been looking for someone to get in shape with, Jessica is your woman. 

Con: She is smarter, and makes more money than you.  If you are one of those people who has to be the center of attention in your group of friends, who has to be the smartest, the prettiest, the richest, then you probably shouldn't spend much time with Jessica Fletcher.  She will always, always outsmart you, even if she acts like she has no idea what is going on.  Plus, she is a bestselling author with an endless supply of book ideas so you know she will always have more stashed away in the bank than you could ever hope to earn your entire life.  So between the books and the murders solving her face is always going to be plastered in newspapers, bookstores, magazines, maybe even Times Square.  All those with jealousy issues need not apply.

Pro: She will always defend your honor.  Jessica is a true blue friend.  She will go to the ends of the earth for you and back....as long as you're not a cold-blooded killer.  If you need to know anything about Jessica it is this: she will stick by you to the bitter end, defend your name and your honor to the police, and work tirelessly until your good name has been restored.  Hey, that's just the kind of thing true friends do for each other. 

Con: You will always be a murder suspect.  Okay, so this ties in with the pro that was just mentioned above.  Unfortunately, one of the downfalls of befriending a woman who always is around when people are being killed is that before long, the police are going to turn a crooked eye on her and all her friends, no matter how many people she helps put behind bars.  Which means that it's only a matter of time before the police will drag you off to jail, as you stare helplessly at Jessica through the window of a police cruiser, silently pleading with her to solve the crime in time enough for you to make it back to work and not have to explain to your boss that you missed half the week because you were rotting away in a jail cell in a small town no one has ever heard of.  I personally would give Jessica a pass on this particular con as long as it only happened once.  But repeated occurrences would force me to seriously consider the benefits of this particular friendship. 

Pro: Lots of spontaneous travel.  If you spend your days living and working in the quaint, small town of Cabot Cove, Maine, chances are you will need to escape every now and again to remind yourself there is a bigger world out there.  And who better to escape with than your rich, generous, bestselling author buddy?  Jessica travels a lot.  She has probably travelled the entire continental U.S. and selected parts of Europe.  Who's to say she wouldn't love to have a travel companion every now and then?  If you're up for visiting some exotic and not-so-exotic locales, and doing a bit of amateur sleuthing along the way, you and Jessica were made to be pals.        

Cons: People are going to die.  Lots and lots of people.  And somewhere along the line, one of those people could be you.  Hey, I'm not trying to cast a dark shadow over your potential new friend but her track record should speak for itself.  So go forth and make friends....if you dare! 

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