Polite for the sake of politeness

This probably happens to us a lot.  We're going about our day when we happen to run into someone we know.  An aquaintance perhaps, not someone we would consider a close frined, and we engage in the obligatory "What's new?" chatter that these types of situations usually mandate.

Eventually, maybe right off the bat, you will arrive at the inevitable question:  "How are you doing?"

It's nice, I suppose, to show an interest in how people we know are getting along.  And generally speaking people like it when others show an interest in their lives and their personal well-being.  The real question is, how much of your actual personal well-being are you willing to share?

Let's face it, when we ask people this question and when it's asked of us we will 98% of the time go with an answer of "Great!"  "Good!"  "Not bad!"  Or something of similar effect.  Hopefully  we are being truthful when we say this, but if we are really being honest here I'm willng to wager that there are instances when we turn to these stock answers even when things aren't great, good, or not bad. 

It's all for the sake of politeness and saving face.  Do we really want to confide to someone in the middle of the grocery store that things aren't all rainbows and sunshine in our lives?  Do we really want to complain about our job, or the fact that we're having the worst week of our life, or how we could use a few more dollars in the bank in order to make ends meet?  

If you heaped all that baggage on anyone aside from your best friend or significant other they would most likely turn and run.  Because when we ask people that question, we aren't always looking for the honest truth.  We're looking for a polite answer.  One that will be easy to process and not require too much extra work on our part.  We can handle great, good, and not bad.  Anything deeper gets a little messy.

What I find perplexing is that we are all aware of this rule, even if we don't stop to contemplate its existence.  Whether we are the asker or the askee, we know our role and what is expected of us in these polite exchanges.  The bigger question here is why do we bother to ask at all, when we already know what the person will say?

I think of it as being polite for the sake of politeness.  For not rocking the boat with real answers and playing it safe, to spare yourself and the person you're talking to.  This is just the world we live in.  Honesty is hailed in just about every facet of our life, but when it comes to little encounters like this, honesty is written in shades of gray.

I can't decide if I am for or against this rule of social exchange.  But just for fun, the next time someone asks me that question I might just tell them how I really feel.  Even if it isn't all rainbows and sunshine.