Am I housewife material?

My friend Pam and I had a most interesting conversation over the holidays.  We were discussing life, which inevitably led to discussing work, which inevitably led us both to the same conclusion that we are tired of working for other people and would like to just be able to go out and do our own thing.  Or, we would like to be housewives.  

Now friends, please do not get all super feminist on me and decide I am a traitor to females everywhere.  Because that is truly not the case.  And please do not roll your eyes and jump to the conclusion that I am just too lazy and too unmotivated to go to work everyday and be productive.  This is also not true....most of the time.

If we are being honest with ourselves we will readily admit that we hold a very strong stigma against women who don't work.  We will think bad thoughts about them (not really, really bad, but just kinda bad), and we will call them lazy and not smart enough to go out and establish a decent career.  We might call them golddiggers, and we might assume that they just lay around watching TV and gabbing on the phone all day.

But deep down, we also secretly want to be them.

Who wouldn't want to have that kind of freedom?  That kind of possibility?  Who wouldn't want to have that kind of time available to tap into your hidden potential and essentially find out what it is you really want to do?

Because being a housewife isn't just about cooking, cleaning, and folding socks.  Well, okay maybe that's a small part of it, but there is also the notion that you have to get involved with things in order to keep from going crazy by yourself in the house all day.  This means time to volunteer, time to help others, time to try new things and open up doors that might not be accessible because of your 9-5 work life.

I suppose it's also a bit of a selfish career path.  You know, the whole part about expecting someone else to go out and make money and support you while you just hang out around the house, walk dogs at the Humane Society, and maybe meet your friends for lunch once in awhile.  Yes, I can see something a bit selfish in that mindset.

However, I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only one who harbors this secret fantasy (which I suppose is no longer a secret).  But you see, women are not supposed to admit this to anyone.  We aren't supposed to be content anymore with being homemakers.  We are supposed to want to play with the big boys, climb the corporate ladder, and hold important positions with long elaborate titles.  So....what if we don't want that?  Are we traitors to the women's movement?  Or are we just honest?

However, if the women's movement was supposed to be about choice, why do we pass such harsh judgement on certain women who choose to be homemakers, who choose to stay home and raise their kids?  Do we find them to be "less than?"  Does the fact that they shampoo the living room rugs on Monday morning instead of attend a staff meeting make them somehow beneath women who work?  

And the thing is, being a housewife is not easy.  I don't personally have any experience (yet) but when you think about all the different things that have to be done to keep a house in order, it adds up pretty fast.  And if one happens to have children, this multiplies the duties by about 100.  But people love to make the argument that if they can work, raise their kids, and take care of the house then everyone should be able to do it.  I believe this ties into the idea that we feel everything in life should be "fair."  If I have to work, then she should have to work.  We don't want anyone getting through life easier than we are. 

We were all made to do different things, and we are all good at doing different things.  When I was working at my very first full-time summer job my supervisor told me that she didn't think I was made to work in an office setting.  She said I needed more freedom to do my own thing.  Was this a compliment?  Some sort of in-depth analysis?  Or was she trying to tell me I was doing a really crappy job filing invoices?  Looking back, I think it was a mix of all three.  (And on a sidenote, I absolutely hated that job). 

Some women were made to excel in the corporate world.  Others are more adept at chairing volunteer committees and holding fundraising bake sales.  Neither of these attributes should be frowned upon.  

I have no doubt that I have been judged up and down as you have been reading this post.  In truth, I've been judging myself a little bit as well.  Nobody wants to be guilty of endorsing gender stereotypes, but I can't help it if my dream job entails cooking, cleaning, and volunteering.  Hey, I know it's tough work, but I think I'm up for it.