On stepping away from social media

I recently received an email from a volunteer letting me know that she was taking a sabbatical from social media.  No more Facebook, no more Twitter posts, no more connections on LinkedIn, she was stepping back for a year or two and focusing more on other things in her life.  I applaud her on this decision because for those of us who work and play in the world of social media, social networking, anything with the word "social" in front of it that takes place online, we know that it eats up a lot of our time. 

While I recently tested my ability to abstain from the time sucking world of Facebook, I only carried out this experiment over the course of one week.  One week compared to one year is child's play.  And while I made it through the week with my sanity still in tact (possibly more in tact that it was before), I am very much intrigued by the idea of stepping away from it all, from all the sites where I have built an online version of myself and instead focusing on the real world version of myself.....as well as the real world people in my life. 

The idea itself is a great one.  The idea put into practice can be somewhat daunting, simply because we now live in a world that thrives on these social media sites, and to no longer be an active participant makes it seem like you are going to miss out on so much, that you could in a sense be out of touch with the rest of the world. 

But here's a news flash for you.  The entire world is not on Facebook, or Twitter, or LinkedIn, or using Google+ or the hundreds of other sites out there intent on perma-linking us to each other.  I for one firmly believe I could survive in a world where I didn't log onto Facebook everyday, where I didn't spend who knows how many hours flipping through status updates and picture uploads.  I know I could do it, but I don't know if I want to willingly disconnect myself in such a way. 

I feel like I write about Facebook a lot, and it probably seems like I have a really negative attitude about the site.  But I honestly don't, I'm overall fascinated by the whole Facebook phenomenon and how it has altered the way we connect with people, how we communicate with people, and how it exists as this huge sub-culture with different norms and rules about what is and isn't acceptable.  I enjoy using Facebook for the most part, and I enjoy the convenience the site gives me for staying in touch with my friends and family.  But I also realize that at times Facebook is just too much.  There is simply too much to take in, too many things to get distracted by, and it becomes more of an excuse to waste time than to spend it doing something meaningful. 

If I didn't have access to Facebook, or chose not to have access to the site, what would I do if I wanted to wish someone a happy birthday, or congratulate them on the birth of their child?  What would I do if I just wanted to say hello?  Would I possibly resort to (*gasp*), picking up the phone or sending a card?  How very 20th century.  And what a way to bring some actual meaning back to the communications I have with people. 

I have read several articles on the topic of Facebook and happiness, and most have drawn the conclusion that Facebook could in fact be contributing to our unhappiness level.  Essentially, since posting on Facebook is a selective process and we can control what information is shared and kept private, we can in essence present the most perfect, optimistic, attractive representation of ourselves online, leaving out all the messy, complicated, and not very interesting stuff.  When we choose to post status updates we can exaggerate the greatness of what we are doing or feeling, we can choose to only post when we are doing something once-in-a-lifetime or overly exciting, and the pictures we choose to upload can show us living life to the fullest with our equally cool friends.  If you're sitting home alone on a Friday night feeling a bit bummed out and you log into Facebook and see all this stuff radiating from your News Feed, the last thing it's going to do is boost your happiness level. 

It's not enough for us to just be happy.  We want to be happier than everyone else.  Most of us (whether we admit to it or not) have the one upsmanship mentality where we always want to have the best story, the best house, the best car, basically the best anything over everyone else.  It sounds awful when you spell it out that way but try as we might we are all in competition, and sometimes Facebook does nothing but throw the proof in our face that we aren't one-upping half the people on our friends list.  This makes us feel a bit bad about ourselves.  

I suspect that while most people (myself included) say that keeping in touch with friends is the number one reason they use Facebook, another reason might also be to compare themselves, and their lives, to others who are using the site.  How do we stack up against our friends?  Are we taking as many fun trips as them?  Are we going out to cool restaurants and clubs as often as them?  Do we even have as many friends and comments on our Wall as they do?  Oh my gosh, look at all these pictures from their awesome trip to Europe!  Why am I not planning a cool trip to another country?  It's a downward spiral effect of negativity that is so unwarranted, so unnecessary, and so subconscious that we probably don't even realize we are doing it until we take the time to stop and think.  

And that's exactly what I have been doing.  Stopping and thinking.  And wondering if I would be both willing and able to turn my back on social media.  My Facebook fast definitely showed me that I don't need these sites in order to continue on my day-to-day life, both on a personal and professional level, and while sometimes the convenience of Facebook is too much to pass up I don't think I need to use the site nearly as often as I do.  Which is pretty much daily.  And by using I mean just scrolling through the News Feed multiple times a day.

In this day and age, would you be missing out on too much if you took a break from social media, or is this merely a deception we have put upon ourselves as an excuse for staying constantly connected?  Would your overall happiness increase considerably without these social website distractions, or is that simply in the eye of the beholder?  Let the pondering commence.