Do you ever sometimes tell that common lie about loving constructive criticism? The whole notion of criticizing involves finding fault and passing judgment on someone or something they did, so I'm going to weigh in right now and say this is not my favorite thing to experience. Constructive criticism is supposed to offer a positive outcome, a chance to recognize errors and look at ways to improve them. Essentially, if you can get through listening to someone rip you and something you have worked on apart, the end result will be that much more impressive.
Okay, so maybe I'm taking this to the extreme. Because most of us are really nice people who know how to criticize and suggest changes without being mean about it....right?
I know perfection is impossible and I realize that a goal to be perfect is, to say the least, unattainable. But by no means is that going to stop me from trying. I like to think everything I do and everything I create is as perfect as it could possibly be. However, this is probably quite far from the truth, even if I won't admit that to myself. And it's not that I don't appreciate suggestions from others on how to improve and better myself or my work, it's just hard sometimes to separate non-offensive criticism from unnecessary criticism.
I will go out of my way to avoid confrontations and to avoid listening to criticism. Which in a way is ironic because if I am really able to make a go of this writing thing, that is exactly what I am going to have to deal with. Because not everyone is going to love what I write, and not everyone is going to be ready to sing my praises. When I used to write for my college newspaper I dreaded those instances when people would write letters to the editor about one of my columns. I would walk around the entire day imagining people looking at me and thinking, "That's the girl who wrote that column the other day." In reality, I doubt the majority of my peers even paid that close attention. But once your words are in print, sometimes you just feel like you have a sign on your back.
I try to be tough. I will talk big and act like things don't bother me as much as they do. But I am a habitual over-analyzer, and I over-think situations and comments all the time. Hence, criticisms stick with me. Outward I shrug, pretending to instantly recover and move on, while inside I feel the urge to run away and hide. It's really a terrible cycle, which is why I will go to great lengths of avoidance.
I realize I am probably not alone in feeling this way, and I know many an over-achiever who will break down at the idea that they did something wrong or forgot to do something altogether. Some people will argue that these are the instances that make us stronger and help us to grow as people.
In my mind, it just reinforces my original attitude of striving for perfection. And yes, I'm well aware that this is nothing but a vicious cycle doomed to repeat until the end of time, or until I learn how to handle criticism in a less detrimental manner.
Is this a learned trait, being able to listen to criticism and not internalize it? Or are some people just not cut out to handle scrutiny?
Feel free to leave your thoughts below. And please, be kind.
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