Heavy Days

It's been a bit of a heavy day.  Sad news from back home first thing in the morning cast a somber mood over a startingly bright, hot summer day.  Even though I was not directly impacted by this news, it has crept into my thoughts and caused me to tear up unexpectedly throughout the day.  Please don't get me wrong, I am in no way trying to take someone elses tragedy and turn it into my own, but it's hard not to give in to emotions and let the sadness of the situation envelop you.  Especially when it directly impacts so many people you care about.

Being from a small town, it's customary to share in the sadness and the hurt that can fall upon others.  I think the only thing that spreads faster than grief in small towns are rumors. 

But you don't have to be from a small town to be indirectly affected by sad news.  The indirect effect of upsetting situations is perplexing to me because we still go about our days like we normally would, and yet we don't feel completely right.  Something is off-kilter, out of balance.  We feel sad and unsettled yet there is no direct reason to be feeling this way.  We feel that what is really bothering us should not be doing so in such a profound way. 

Then comes the backlash.  Because once one floodgate opens several others must follow.  One sad thought leads to another, which is followed by another, until we are practically in tears over things we thought we had gotten over years ago. 

I mentioned heavy days in the opening sentence, because that is the exact result of indirect affect.  The day just sits there, weighing you down, and the smallest of tasks seem impossible.  The drive to accomplish is muted and all you can seem to do is lose yourself in thoughts of the past.  You ask yourself impossible questions that demand impossible answers, and you wonder if there really is a reason for things happening the way they do.

For some people I know back home, heavy days are just beginning and will be here for awhile.  For others, they will pass much quickly and we will soon find ourselves back in the swing of everyday life, back to the everyday thoughts, and the everyday worries.

It's just a simple fact that heavy days are a part of all our lives at some point.  I suppose the only good thing is they help us to appreciate the light ones.