Making decisions

Sometimes decision making sucks.  Like when you're in the drive-thru at McDonalds and you feel torn between the chicken nuggets and the double cheeseburger, not wanting to choose the wrong meal for fear that you will regret your food decision the rest of the afternoon, then realizing you're eating at McDonalds for goodness sake and will probably regret the decision anyway......yea, those moments can be extremely anxiety driven.

As we get older, making decisions both big and small just becomes part of life.  All those things our parents used to handle for us suddenly become our responsibility, and it's almost like someone lifts up a curtain and exposes all the items of life we used to never give a second thought to, then tells us to figure it all out.  Stat.  

I feel like I'm getting better with my decision making.  I am usually so wishy washy, so middle of the road, so very willing to do what the group majority would like to do that I rarely decide anything definite on my own.  But some days I just don't feel like going through the whole song and dance and my decisiveness shines through.  I don't even give myself the option to say "I don't care" and instead commit myself to the choice that stands out as being the best.  Strangely enough, I usually only become this decisive when under pressure, or when I'm feeling stressed out.  I'm sure that's a horrible trend, but I really don't feel like speculating on that little nugget. 

But here's the thing.  Some days......I just want to be told what to do.  When my husband tells me what to do I make a big show of being offended and make a point to tell him that I am my own person, I decide what I do and don't do, blah, blah, blah.  I guess it's my part of the feminist movement.  But honestly, some days I just flat out don't care.  Decision making can be such a drain on my mental energy, that some days I don't want to sit and contemplate, review the information, weigh the pros and cons.  I just want to have an action list in front of me with no need to speculate on anything, and just get stuff freaking done.  Some days I just don't have it in me to be a leader, to keep track of what needs to be done and by when.  Some days I just need to be told and then subsequently move about like a mindless robot because that's literally all I have the capacity for.  

I think this is one of those fun little facts about adulthood that nobody ever really comes right out and tells you, they just let you slowly come to the realization on your own.  For some of us, making decisions does not come easy.  And I know for me it will likely be a lifelong learning process.  Let's just hope there's a grading curve.