Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Who are you?



I think an undisputed part of growing up is learning exactly who we are and being comfortable with ourselves.  For some of us this is probably a lifetime process.  Sometimes I will think back on my younger self and shake my head at the way I used to act, at the person I tried so hard to pretend I was.  I've pondered on this blog before about growing up, about change, about becoming the person you are supposed to be.  And yet I still don't quite understand a lot of things.  I still feel like I have a long way to go before I know for sure who exactly I'm supposed to be in life and what the hell it is I'm supposed to do. 

Do you often get the feeling that you are standing still, watching others around you evolve and change?  Is that really the way it happens, or is it simply too hard for us to recognize the changes in ourselves? 

If my life were a movie I feel like this is the point where I as the main character would take drastic action and leave everything behind, then set out on a whirlwind travel adventure where I would learn valuable life lessons and discover, finally, who I really am.  All in the span of two hours.  

But the thing is, this isn't a movie and I don't necessarily want to leave everything behind.  I feel that despite all the questions I have floating around in my head about almost every conceivable thing, I know enough about myself to realize what I want.....what's important to me.

My family.  My friends.  My home.  My writing.  

I think what is throwing me off right now is that I feel like I should still be searching.  I feel like I should want certain things or not want others.....and I don't know if I should already be so content.  

I'm not trying to say I have it all figured out.  But for once in my life I feel like I am ready and able to own my wants and convictions, which has never been an easy thing for me to do.  Maybe I'm not currently undergoing any major life changes.  Maybe I already have.  But I know the next step is to capitalize on the things I finally know to be true, and not keep searching for things I have already found.   

No comments:

Post a Comment