Starting the Process

You may recall a few posts back I made the conscious decision to abandon my fears and insecurities of my writing being nothing but garbage, and finally set out to do the thing I have been talking about doing for months (maybe years).



Write.

I made a huge step the other night in this process. I sat down at my desk. I turned on my computer. I inserted my thumb drive and scrolled down through the list of unfinished stories. At random I chose one of the documents, opened it up, and read through five pages of the infant manuscript.

Wanna know a secret? It wasn’t half bad.

I was instantly energized, somewhat impressed with myself, and excited about the possibilities that lay before me with this as of yet unfinished work. But despite my excitement, I knew I couldn’t just dive right in and expect the words to pour forth like water from a stream. No, first I needed a game plan.

Therefore, like any good writer and mater of organization, I proceeded to make an outline. An outline of my story.

I detailed my characters, setting, background, potential plot twists. I thought of potential problems with the plot, then thought of ways to get around those problems. I wrote, and underlined, and crossed out, and circled, and after about 45 minutes I had in my hands an almost complete outline. (Because really, when is any piece of writing totally complete?)
I felt so good, but rather than let myself rest on this accomplishment I kept going. Four pages later I was actually starting to see things happen. I could feel characters taking shape, I could see the end of my story tying back in with the beginning, and for the first time in a long time I felt like I had direction.

Now for the bad news.

I am not anywhere near the end of this process. In fact, I am barely scratching the surface. There are a lot of things that need to happen between the first draft, the second draft, the third draft, and who knows how many after that. There is also no guarantee that the end product will be as exciting, as promising, as those first five pages. There is also no guarantee that I will finish.
I promise I’m not trying to sabotage myself. If anything, I’m trying to force myself to keep things in perspective. Writing is such a solitary activity. You have to completely lose yourself to the people and things around you and just live in your own thoughts, your own ideas, until everything of every possible meaning is finally down on paper. If you can’t do this, it will show in the writing. If you can do this, it will show in the writing. In this game, the words rule.

For me, writing is a lot like warming up for a softball game. I kind of have to ease into it. I have to sit down, read through a few pages of what I last wrote, and sort of digest it. That’s like my warm-up jog. Then it’s time to test the waters with a few paragraphs, see if I can figure out what’s going to happen next. You know, like stretching one’s muscles.

Then there will be periods where I just have to sit and stare. Not necessarily at my computer screen, but at the room around me, the pictures and books on my shelves, anything at all. I just have to look and think before proceeding, because maybe I’m in danger of losing focus and taking the story somewhere it doesn’t need to go. Sort of like sitting and listening to your coach before taking the field.

After all this, I can usually get in the zone and keep the story afloat. This would be like taking outfield and finally feeling ready to go after a dozen or so fly balls. Writing is a major exercise for your mind, your imagination. I envy people who can just sit down at the computer and without a moment’s hesitation start pounding away at the keyboard. Of course, these might also be the same people who get a side ache while running around the bases because they didn’t take the time to warm up.

Writing is a process. It is also a craft that can’t be taught out of a textbook (well, certain kinds anyway). For some, writing can be one of the biggest gambles ever because there is no guarantee that anything you write will ever see the light of day. This is a gamble not only of your personal time, but also your self esteem.


I used to think I could get everything right on the first try. I used to think that editing, and multiple drafts, and drastic changes to the plot were nonsense and time consuming. But it was this frame of mind, this pressure I put on myself to be perfect and get it right the first time, it was this pressure that was really holding me back.

So. I have started the process. I have committed myself and no matter how long the commitment I will stay the course until the final word in typed. I am crawling inside my mind, looking for direction and trying to figure out what these characters are saying to me.

I hope they speak loudly.