Phobias

We are all afraid of something whether we admit to it or not.  And whether we harbor rational or irrational fears, there is a delicate line that some of us walk on a day to day basis.  This is the line between fear and phobia. 

Before delving much further, let me provide some background on the inspiration for this post.  I had been at work not even an hour this morning when I heard some very distinct buzzing coming from one of the light fixtures in our office.  For whatever reason, we always have had issues with bugs, mainly flies, getting into our office via the light fixtures.  So I look up, and to my absolute abject horror I see that it's not a fly up there making the buzzing, but a huge wasp.  Let me also preface this by saying that I have a huge, slightly irrational and completely consuming fear of bees, wasps, yellow jackets, anything that buzzes, flies, and has a stinger.  

So, here I am sitting at my desk with this giant wasp ready to dive bomb me at any moment.  The ceilings in our office are about 15 feet high so there was no way I could just swat him and put an end to my misery.  Instead I had to sit there and watch and he crawled in and around the light fixture, flew from one end of the room to another, and crawled along the wall.  There was absolutely no way I could concentrate on anything work related.  My eyes were glued to this wasp, watching his every move and ready to bolt as soon as he made a move toward me.  

The end result of this tale is that eventually the little devil's spawn finally landed on a window (mine, of course), and I smashed him with my shoe.  This is not the first time I have had to defend myself against these evil, evil creatures and it likely won't be the last.  What worries me is that the more and more I am pitted against them, the stronger my fear of them becomes.  Don't they usually say exposure to the things that scare you help you to cure, or at least lessen the fear? 

I decided to do some minor non-scholarly research to see if my fear of flying, stinging creatures might actually be a phobia.  Some of the symptoms for phobias include:  the need to escape, sweating, heart palpitations, nausea or abdominal discomfort, shortness of breath, feeling lightheaded, and so on, and so on.  While examining the symptoms on the list was interesting, it really didn't bring me any closer to discovering the truth.  Everything listed was rather generic, not too specific, and overall could be applied to a number of situations.  However, I examined some of the differences between everyday anxieties and phobias and found that to be a bit more helpful.  I'll highlight one example. 

Everyday anxiety:  Feeling queasy while climbing a tall ladder. 
Phobia:  Not attending your friend's wedding because it's on the 25th floor of a hotel. 

Okay, the difference between the two is duly noted.  People with phobias will go out of their way to avoid situations involving the person/place/thing they are afraid of, and if they are forced to endure the stimulus they do so with great distress.  Given the example above, it is highly unlikely that I have a full blown phobia, but I would say on the everyday anxiety scale I am scoring pretty much off the charts.  After I smashed that evil wasp with my shoe, my hand was trembling so bad I couldn't hardly tie my shoelace.  My stomach is still in knots almost three hours later, and any little sound from the light fixtures makes me jerk my head up to see what kind of killer insect is waiting to descend on me next.  

I am definitely walking the fine line between fear and phobia.  Of course, knowing this does not make my irrational fear any easier to deal with.  So as the summer months progress and as the temperatures increase, I have a feeling I will be forced to ward off these inhuman terrorists time and time again.  Unless conditions improve, I might just start working from home.