Political headaches

I remember the first time I ever voted.  I was excited to finally take part in the whole process, to get my "I Voted" sticker and fulfill my civic duty.  I also remember the first time I got to vote for the President of the United States.  It felt kind of surreal, looking at that ballot and seeing those names, knowing that I was casting a vote for the most important position in the country.  

Flash forward to present day.  We are once again in the midst of a presidential campaign year and this is right about the time I start to get plain sick and tired of the whole hullabaloo.  The speeches, the debates, the TV ads, the comments from supporters of either party.....I'm done with it all.  Can we please just vote already?  I am still excited to get my ballot, send it in, and hopefully have my vote counted, but I am worn out by all the poll updates and hostile attitudes that surround this election.  

Not that I am checking out entirely.  I like to try and remain an informed voter so to say that I am closing myself off from all election coverage entirely probably isn't a true statement, but let's just say I'm not going to give it too much of my attention from here on out.  I know the issues well enough to know who I'm voting for, so all the rest, as far as I'm concerned, is just fluff. 

Politics is just not my thing.  I really don't have much of an interest in it, I don't like discussing it with other people, and I find the whole song and dance more or less exhausting.  People spend so much energy debating political issues back and forth non stop, when all that accomplishes is getting each other fired up and each person becoming more and more ingrained in their own opinions.  It's true, debating is pointless.  Which is why I figure it is never okay to bring up the subject of politics in mixed company, or even with family.  For some reason this topic is so touchy it can drive a wedge between people faster than almost anything else.  Including religion. 

I don't really have a point except to say that while I'm excited to vote next month, I'm eager to have this election behind us so we can start focusing on other things aside from poll numbers and Mitt Romney's tax returns. 

Waiting.....

Do you ever go through periods where you feel like you're waiting for something, even if you don't know what that something is?  Because that's kind of how I feel this week.  I just returned to work after almost a week off, and will be leaving town again on Friday for a work related event, so naturally my motivation level is a bit low and I find that I have put myself into a waiting pattern. 

For instance, I haven't worked out since last week because of said vacation, and while I could easily start up my routine again I have most definitely talked myself out of doing anything until Monday.  I have told myself that I have other things that need to get done, plus I caught a baby cold on the plane so am trying once again to get healthy, and so on and so on.  Oh, and when I say baby cold I don't mean that I caught a cold from a baby (although I very well could have.....) I just mean that the cold isn't full blown, it's just in the infancy stages.  So I'm doing my best to crush it to smithereens.

I have also been a bit of a procrastinator at work.  I wouldn't say I've been slacking off because technically speaking I'm ahead of the curve on projects (yay!), I would instead say that I haven't been over achieving.  I tell myself that since there's only one more "working" day left in my week it's best not to start anything too time consuming until Monday.  We all know that familiar line, don't we?  It suckers me in each and every time.  

The last month for me has been a tad crazy to say the least.  I've been burning the candle at both ends, so to speak, and I have been telling myself for awhile that after this week concludes I will finally be able to get back on track.  I'm hoping that this will be true in terms of both my physical health and my mental stress level.  So for this week I have definitely put myself in a holding pattern.  I feel like I'm existing and yet not thriving, like I'm doing the bare minimum to get by before I decide to plunge back into everyday life. 

Does that seem weird?  Does anyone else go through these dormant stages?  I'm doing my best not to wish for time to go by too fast, because October as we all know is one of my most favorite months of the year, but I am looking forward to a (hopefully) calmer state of being starting next week.  I want some time to enjoy and get reacquainted with my personal life and some of the things I have pushed to the back burner.  

On another somewhat unrelated tangent, I feel like I had all these great blog ideas (okay, maybe two or three decent ideas) that I planned to write about after vacation, and now I don't have the faintest idea what they were.  I feel like I may have written them down somewhere but as to where that "where" might be, I have no clue.  So who knows where we go from here because God forbid I actually come up with new ideas or even remember what the old ones were.  

Maybe if I sit back and wait long enough, the ideas will magically re-manifest themselves in my brain.  But if they don't show up by Monday, the official end of my waiting period, I'm going to have to move on.  One can only wait for so long.   

Do you have an empty desk?

I got to thinking about a common expression the other day, and I feel it's being misinterpreted.  You know the saying "A cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind?"  Well, the common rebuttal to that is often "An empty desk is the sign of an empty mind."  I feel in this analogy you could replace the word desk with just about anything.  House, car, purse, etc.  It's a very flexible description. 

Flexible as it may be, I'm a bit bothered by the "empty" part.  You see, I happen to be one of those people who usually has an empty desk, work area, whatever you want to call it.  And while my area is not completely empty, it is usually devoid of.....extra stuff.  But I absolutely do not consider my mind to be empty.  Dear God, far from it!  I cannot shut my mind off there is so much stuff rattling around in there.  

So I'm offering a rebuttal to the empty mind comeback.  Instead of an empty desk being a sign of an empty mind, I'm thinking it's more a sign of an organized mind.  As in, things are neat and tidy and everything is in its place.  

Organized.  Efficient.  Two of my favorite words and two characteristics which I try to embody on a daily basis, and two characteristics which I absolutely appreciate in other people.  Especially people I interact with in the professional world.   I find when I'm feeling scattered and a bit off the charts, it's easier to center myself when I take the time to organize my thoughts (usually in the form of a to-do list), and then work methodically down that list until I feel a bit more in control. 

The same theory applies to my workspace, my living space, any type of space I'm occupying at a given time.  I cannot function with mass amounts of clutter.  I need to have things sorted and organized in some way shape or form before I can feel comfortable and before I can be productive.  I am my most happiest when things are put away, and I don't have piles of randomness taunting me everywhere I look.  Yes, I've been told before that I have OCD tendencies.....and trust me, I'm always the first to admit it.  Which means that I don't see emptiness and lack of stuff as a bad thing.  In my opinion, it's the best possible thing! 

So don't feel bad if you come from an empty desk.  Be proud for ridding yourself of the excess clutter and embracing your organizational instincts.  Over-organizers need to officially unite and share this message.....together we can stop the verbal abuse on empty desks.  

School days

By the time my college graduation rolled around I was beyond ready to be done with school.  Instead of setting myself up for a cakewalk of a senior year I continued to take full class loads, participate in extracurriculars, and work two jobs.  I was probably no more or less busy than any of my classmates, but I was definitely stretched to the max and ready to be done with papers, tests, group projects, and mandatory lectures.  

That was in the spring.  By the time fall rolled around I felt a huge disconnect between where I was in my life and where I wanted to be.  I felt like I should be back on campus, going to classes, buying my books, and preparing for another semester of knowledge.  Instead I was working, technically still on campus, but a far cry from being the student I was a mere three months ago.

As time has gone by I've gotten used to the fact that for me, fall no longer initiates the start of another school year with me playing the roll of the student.  I no longer have to worry about credits, GPA, landing an internship, and homework cluttering up my evenings.  I'm not going to lie and say that having those items off my plate isn't a huge relief, because it is.  But those are just a handful of the things that come with being a student, and while they are big things, they don't make up the entire picture. 

I miss going to class.  Yes, there were days when dragging myself through a full day of class was the absolute last thing I wanted to do, but on the whole, I enjoyed being in the classroom everyday.  I liked attending my writing workshops, discussing the writings of Shakespeare and John Milton, and debating topics of media ethics in journalism.  I loved being surrounded by so many opportunities for knowledge, and in so many different areas.  

Another fantastic part of the student life was down time.  Obviously this was schedule dependent, but I was always fortunate enough to have some kind of break either at the beginning or middle of my day, and it was always so nice just to have time to chill out, go and exercise, read a book, whatever might sound appealing.  Of course, the more involved I became the more my down time seemed to dwindle, but on the whole my class schedules were never too difficult to handle.  It was just nice to have little breaks, and sometimes longer ones, instead of being stuck at work all day.....which essentially is what awaits most of us after college. 

College is filled with so many great things.  The sporting events, clubs, intramural sports, parties, (and for some of us just the act of going to school)!  It's not all wonderful.  It's not always easy.  It's often filled with stress, disappointment, and frustration.  It was also a bit scary, especially once senior year rolled around.  Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and not knowing what was on the other side made me break into a panic on more than one occasion.  But the college environment is infectious.  And being immersed in it year after year oftentimes makes me wish I was still a part of it.  Having been a student in one form or another for 18 years of my life was a hard thing for me to let go of, and every year I feel that yearning to be back in the classroom. 

Of course I do realize that education is a lifelong process, in more ways than one.  Book learning is just a small part of the education we all receive throughout our lives, and as we get older it's often up to us to challenge ourselves, to tackle new ideas and problems to find a solution that works for us.  I hope I never lose that desire to learn and explore, to ask questions and work to find the answers.  I want to continue to challenge myself and not let my fear of failure, of breaking routine, stand in my way. 

I learned a lot about myself in college and have learned just as much if not more in the five years since I graduated.  Perhaps that is also part of this lifelong learning adventure.    

Goodbye, summer

There's a window of time each year where it doesn't quite feel like summer anymore, and yet you haven't fully transitioned into the fall season.  It leaves one feeling slightly confused and not sure whether to embrace the change in season or lament the one that is being left behind.  This is where we are right now.  Fall is straight ahead in our sights, and yet it's hard to accept the fact that summer, that long anticipated and gone too soon season is really over. 

The end of summer to me always feels like waking up from a dream.  I know that summer was here.  I know that the sun was out and the weather was hot, and that I went on weekend vacations and frolicked (yes, I tend to frolic from time to time) in natural bodies of water, camped under the stars and enjoyed days and days away from my office, and yet it all seems like something that happened long ago, in an almost forgotten time.  Why is that?  Why do the events of summer seem like they occurred years ago instead of a mere few weeks?

The summertime effect, as I will now be calling it, happens every year right around this time.  For while the calendar says September my head is stuck in August, and while school is back in full swing and there are a million things going on, I'm still thinking about vacations and quiet work weeks.  But while I sit here missing summer I'm also starting to look forward to what lies ahead, to pulling out my fall decorations from the storage closet and decking the halls with shades of orange, red and brown, to meals in the Crock Pot and hot apple cider in the evenings.  

Yes, there is plenty to be excited about with the arrival of fall.  There's college football, Halloween, new seasons of my favorite TV shows (I'm looking at you Glee and Parks and Rec), hosting my first Thanksgiving (yikes!), egg nog, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes back on the menu at Starbucks.  Little things I know, but it's those little things that add up to one fantastic season. 

The one problem with fall?  I can never seem to slow down long enough to enjoy it.  Much like summer has become nothing but a distant memory, I know that before too long I will be looking back wondering how the fall went by so fast.....as I watch the snow pile up outside my window.  It's a fact I've grown to accept, and it doesn't make me like the season any less.  I'll still do my best to soak up as much fall as I possibly can.

Now that we are well into the second week of September, I can feel myself transitioning.  I can feel the change in the air, notice the difference in the light at certain times of day, and for the first time in months am having to dig through my closet for a pair of jeans.  It's sad to see summer hide away when it feels like it was just getting started, but part of me is ready to move into the next phase of the year.  

Goodbye, summer.  Until we meet again......    

Reflections

I guess I'm a bit of a liar.  Obviously when I said I would be writing a post tomorrow I meant tomorrow as in six days later.  Details, right?

I'm delaying my fall post because today is one of those days where you can't sit back and ignore the big pink elephant in the room.  You have to sit down and write about him.  Today is September 11th, the 11th anniversary of the worst attack on our nation to take place on our soil.  It's a somber day, one that will be filled with memorials, public gatherings, and continued mourning by the thousands of people who lost a loved one eleven years ago today.  September 11th has been called our generation's Pearl Harbor, and for good reason.  We were attacked by an enemy we didn't see coming, thousands of lives were lost, and the result of said attack led us into war.  

I was a senior in high school on the morning of September 11, 2001. I was getting ready for school and had just come down to eat breakfast when I happened to glance at the TV screen and saw a shot of the Twin Towers.  It stunned me.  The whole situation looked and sounded so surreal.  All day long at school the televisions in the common area were kept on, and we would stand and listen to the news coverage in-between classes.  The halls were quiet.  There wasn't the usual rowdiness and shouting echoing down the hall.  We were all subdued, not quite sure how to interpret the images we were seeing.  That evening I had a volleyball game in the Tri-Cities, and on the way to the game our bus pulled over to the side of the road to observe a national moment of silence mandated by President Bush.  Surreal is still the only word I can think of to describe looking out the bus window, seeing all those cars pulled over, knowing that this tragedy that had happened on the other side of the country was going to impact all our lives. 

Except we didn't quite know that then, did we?  We didn't quite foresee all the ways in which 9/11 would change the way we lived, the way we traveled, the way we thought about our politicians and groups of people from countries many of us had never been.  We didn't know that 11 years later we would still be fighting a war on terror, a war that many of us fear has no end in sight.  We didn't foresee all the lives that would be sacrificed during the fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq, didn't know that the thousands of people who lost their lives on 9/11 were just the beginning in a long list of Americans who would pay the ultimate sacrifice to help maintain our freedoms, and to keep our nation safe. 

For weeks after 9/11 I didn't understand how to interpret, how to deal with the overwhelming sadness I felt.  This national tragedy hadn't directly impacted me, and yet it had.  I saw the images on the news, listened to the President talk about how we would hunt down the terrorists, and I still couldn't quite understand how something like this could have happened.....or why it had to happen in the first place.  

Today, I've seen those same images plastered on almost every Internet page and TV station, and I wonder if I will ever be able to see a picture taken of the New York skyline on that day and not feel the tears well up in my eyes.  I think about all the children out there who have grown up without a mother, father, aunt, uncle, all because a hijacked plane flew into the office building where they were working.  My heart goes out to all the firefighters and rescue workers who are now suffering from lifelong health problems because of breathing in all the ash that lingered in the air long after the towers fell.  I have had two family members fight in both the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, one who is currently still serving a tour overseas, and I think how that day in September set the course for their military lives the past eleven years.  

I think about all this and more, and I feel those emotions that so many other Americans are feeling on this day.  This being an election year, the political atmosphere is tumultuous to put it lightly, and we are something of a nation divided as the month of November draws closer.  But no matter which side of the political spectrum one favors, I don't think that should have anything to do with today.  There have been plenty of movies, articles, documentaries, you name it, on who is to blame for 9/11, who knew what, and what could have been done to prevent it.  

And yet the fact of the matter remains, 9/11 did happen.  We can't go back and prevent the past.  We can't settle on one person or political party to blame and think that it will change anything eleven years later.  Our world has been forever altered by the events of 9/11, and our futures will be defined by the tragedy in one way or another.  Today, I feel, is best served in reflecting.  In remembering.  In giving thanks and praying for continued healing, not just for the people who have lost a loved one, but for all of us.  

We all lost something on 9/11.  And eleven years later the mourning, the recovery, the healing process, all have no end in sight.  

In short, we will never forget.         

Playing catch-up

So I'm almost back to being a healthy person.  After a week of battling one of the worst colds I've had in years, blowing my nose roughly one thousand times, and ingesting capful after capful of Robitussin, I'm almost back to my normal self.  It's been a rough week to say the least, and I'm more than relieved to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  

I had to take two sick days last week, and not the fun sick days when you call in sick because you have something better to do, but the legitimate sick days when you literally can't go to work because you feel like your head will explode from all the sinus pressure and your throat feels about the equivalent of sandpaper.  

But now I'm back, playing the never-ending game of catch-up, and slightly alarmed to realize that while I was working my way through my fifth box of Kleenex, the final days of August slipped through my fingers and instantly became September.  Summer is, well, over, and now it's time to transition into the fall whether I'm ready to or not.  I have such mixed feelings about fall, even though it is my second favorite season (yes, I rank my seasons.....don't you?)  This fall in particular has got me feeling a mix of nostalgia, anxiety, and excitement.  Right now I'm not sure which emotion to embrace, so I'm taking all of them in turn on a day-to-day basis.  But more on that later. 

In short this post is merely a placeholder.  For the post I plan to write tomorrow.  Because in case you hadn't noticed, I've been terrible lately at keeping house around this blog and I'm going to try and rededicate myself to the habit of writing daily, or more realistically, every other day posts.  I wonder how many times I've written that sentiment in one form or another? 

So tune into tomorrow, fellow readers.  For a post about fall.  Where we go from there remains to be seen.