Reflections

I guess I'm a bit of a liar.  Obviously when I said I would be writing a post tomorrow I meant tomorrow as in six days later.  Details, right?

I'm delaying my fall post because today is one of those days where you can't sit back and ignore the big pink elephant in the room.  You have to sit down and write about him.  Today is September 11th, the 11th anniversary of the worst attack on our nation to take place on our soil.  It's a somber day, one that will be filled with memorials, public gatherings, and continued mourning by the thousands of people who lost a loved one eleven years ago today.  September 11th has been called our generation's Pearl Harbor, and for good reason.  We were attacked by an enemy we didn't see coming, thousands of lives were lost, and the result of said attack led us into war.  

I was a senior in high school on the morning of September 11, 2001. I was getting ready for school and had just come down to eat breakfast when I happened to glance at the TV screen and saw a shot of the Twin Towers.  It stunned me.  The whole situation looked and sounded so surreal.  All day long at school the televisions in the common area were kept on, and we would stand and listen to the news coverage in-between classes.  The halls were quiet.  There wasn't the usual rowdiness and shouting echoing down the hall.  We were all subdued, not quite sure how to interpret the images we were seeing.  That evening I had a volleyball game in the Tri-Cities, and on the way to the game our bus pulled over to the side of the road to observe a national moment of silence mandated by President Bush.  Surreal is still the only word I can think of to describe looking out the bus window, seeing all those cars pulled over, knowing that this tragedy that had happened on the other side of the country was going to impact all our lives. 

Except we didn't quite know that then, did we?  We didn't quite foresee all the ways in which 9/11 would change the way we lived, the way we traveled, the way we thought about our politicians and groups of people from countries many of us had never been.  We didn't know that 11 years later we would still be fighting a war on terror, a war that many of us fear has no end in sight.  We didn't foresee all the lives that would be sacrificed during the fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq, didn't know that the thousands of people who lost their lives on 9/11 were just the beginning in a long list of Americans who would pay the ultimate sacrifice to help maintain our freedoms, and to keep our nation safe. 

For weeks after 9/11 I didn't understand how to interpret, how to deal with the overwhelming sadness I felt.  This national tragedy hadn't directly impacted me, and yet it had.  I saw the images on the news, listened to the President talk about how we would hunt down the terrorists, and I still couldn't quite understand how something like this could have happened.....or why it had to happen in the first place.  

Today, I've seen those same images plastered on almost every Internet page and TV station, and I wonder if I will ever be able to see a picture taken of the New York skyline on that day and not feel the tears well up in my eyes.  I think about all the children out there who have grown up without a mother, father, aunt, uncle, all because a hijacked plane flew into the office building where they were working.  My heart goes out to all the firefighters and rescue workers who are now suffering from lifelong health problems because of breathing in all the ash that lingered in the air long after the towers fell.  I have had two family members fight in both the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, one who is currently still serving a tour overseas, and I think how that day in September set the course for their military lives the past eleven years.  

I think about all this and more, and I feel those emotions that so many other Americans are feeling on this day.  This being an election year, the political atmosphere is tumultuous to put it lightly, and we are something of a nation divided as the month of November draws closer.  But no matter which side of the political spectrum one favors, I don't think that should have anything to do with today.  There have been plenty of movies, articles, documentaries, you name it, on who is to blame for 9/11, who knew what, and what could have been done to prevent it.  

And yet the fact of the matter remains, 9/11 did happen.  We can't go back and prevent the past.  We can't settle on one person or political party to blame and think that it will change anything eleven years later.  Our world has been forever altered by the events of 9/11, and our futures will be defined by the tragedy in one way or another.  Today, I feel, is best served in reflecting.  In remembering.  In giving thanks and praying for continued healing, not just for the people who have lost a loved one, but for all of us.  

We all lost something on 9/11.  And eleven years later the mourning, the recovery, the healing process, all have no end in sight.  

In short, we will never forget.