I think an undisputed part of growing up is learning exactly who we are and being comfortable with ourselves. For some of us this is probably a lifetime process. Sometimes I will think back on my younger self and shake my head at the way I used to act, at the person I tried so hard to pretend I was. I've pondered on this blog before about growing up, about change, about becoming the person you are supposed to be. And yet I still don't quite understand a lot of things. I still feel like I have a long way to go before I know for sure who exactly I'm supposed to be in life and what the hell it is I'm supposed to do.
If my life were a movie I feel like this is the point where I as the main character would take drastic action and leave everything behind, then set out on a whirlwind travel adventure where I would learn valuable life lessons and discover, finally, who I really am. All in the span of two hours.
My family. My friends. My home. My writing.
I think what is throwing me off right now is that I feel like I should still be searching. I feel like I should want certain things or not want others.....and I don't know if I should already be so content.
I'm not trying to say I have it all figured out. But for once in my life I feel like I am ready and able to own my wants and convictions, which has never been an easy thing for me to do. Maybe I'm not currently undergoing any major life changes. Maybe I already have. But I know the next step is to capitalize on the things I finally know to be true, and not keep searching for things I have already found.
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