Honesty

Most of us are not naive enough to believe that people are completely honest all the time.  And yet most of us will always proclaim that being honest in any given situation is always the best way to go.  Do we all agree?  Don't lie. 

I am not honest all the time.  I lie about stuff almost every day, usually about small things like "No, I'm not too busy to work on that," or "Yea, my day is going great."  We usually don't make too big a deal over statements like this, which are commonly referred to as little white lies.  And they are little, and pretty insignificant, and we usually make them without giving it a second thought.  It becomes natural to tell these lies to people we encounter everyday.  Because let's face it, does the checker at the grocery store really want us to go into detail on the terrible day we've been having?  I seriously doubt it, and on top of that I don't want to take the time and energy to talk about it. 

The thing about lying is that it's contagious, kind of like a cold.  We will do it to other people, spread it around as we see fit, until eventually it comes full circle and we are lying to ourselves.  

Lying to ourselves. 

It doesn't even really seem possible, does it?  I mean, how can a person lie to themselves about anything, when it's inevitable that they know the truth?  While this is a hard phenomenon to explain, the fact is that it happens every single day, and we all do it. 

What do we gain from lying to ourselves?  What purpose does it serve?  Ultimately it allows us to put off dealing with tough situations.  And it also means that we can continue to think of ourselves as practically perfect....because we can just lie away our faults, and skip over certain situations in our life that we aren't particularly proud of.  So maybe it isn't even the fact that we're lying to ourselves, but instead denying certain things and refusing to examine them in the correct light. 

I see this as a type of internal defense mechanism.  If we aren't honest with ourselves about certain things then we are inevitably sparing ourselves pain or potential awkwardness.  It's hard for us to willingly put ourselves in vulnerable situations, so we choose to go on the defensive and not face up to the facts.  

I always feel more guilty about lying to myself than when I do to other people.  Is this a sign of selfishness?  Is this a strange thing to feel guilty about?  

Unless we make a conscious effort, I suppose we can't help but always be on the defensive about our feelings and about the way we look at things.  I suppose the important thing is to eventually come around to being honest and facing the truth, even if it just takes a little longer.